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24/11-2005, 12:48

Morten Ryberg



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Dette er IKKE off topic !

Det er faldet i præsidentens hænder, et vigtig dokument vedr. sandheden som dvæler omkring ikonet Chuck Norris.

Læs og forstå !

Meget hemmelig MMA Agent skrev:
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris
can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the
speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was
flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds
till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the
face.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided
to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was
removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse
kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths
have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered,
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the
crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME
IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his
girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f**k with
Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this
statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of
the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15
cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that,
Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school
football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to
let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused
kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang
every girl in the stadium.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and
starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too
much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera
or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no
wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He
always makes it to Oregon before you.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate,
but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to
him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
24/11-2005, 13:02





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David ID #183014
BRUGER skrev:
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

24/11-2005, 13:08





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David ID #183016
Der er så mange fede at det er spild af plads at gengive de fleste!

24/11-2005, 13:12

Master Balkan



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balkan ID #183017
"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits"



Var ved at spytte saftevand ud over skærmen adskillige gange genialt


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Jeg er en gang vundet DM i KBH/Malmö. <--- Verdens klogeste mand
24/11-2005, 13:14

Steffen Ravn M...



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Steff ID #183019
Det her holder hele vejen.


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Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn&#39;t try it on as a hat! (Husk pas, hvis I skal i byen i Vejle!) Drevet af mit had til Balkanal...
24/11-2005, 13:19

Master Pimp An...



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kærgaard ID #183020
Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!

Jeg er færdig!!


BRUGER skrev:
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME
IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his
girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f**k with
Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this
statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of
the blast went deaf.


Fuck det er guld!



---
Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
24/11-2005, 13:22

Nick



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Nick ID #183021
Chuck Norris (?) skrev:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Sjov.


---
Ej fjærter mus som hest uden røv revner
24/11-2005, 13:44

Anders Rosenda



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qute ID #183026
Chuck skrev:
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate,
but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to
him.


Pirates!


---
Rickson + Fedor > nuclear bomb
24/11-2005, 15:07

Xx

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MortenR ID #183043
LOL!!!

Dolph er også glad for Chuck Norris


---
Find the truth. Act on it.
24/11-2005, 15:25

Mogens Rye

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Bankers ID #183045
Ja, med alt den roundkicking skulle man tro han var let at læse...Men det må jo være skægget som kommer i vejen...


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At kaste med Roland er tungt...Meget tungt..Men sjovt og ikke så tungt som tidligere...Siger han har tabt 10kg...Phew
24/11-2005, 17:53

Mads Maagaard



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Mads Maagaard ID #183074
- Det var da godt nok det vildeste.

Jeg blev nødt til at stoppe to gange undervejs og lige grine af, før jeg kunne læse videre. Kraken, du styrer



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&quot;Chuck Norris doesn&#39;t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information(!)&quot; Citat: Anonym MMA-fan/El Presidente
24/11-2005, 18:17

K



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K ID #183076
Det er fandme god stil. Det kunne hverken Dolf, BS Christiansen eller Sylvester Stalone i Rambo 2 og 3 have sagt bedre.



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I don&#39;t know shit . But I try
24/11-2005, 19:40

Jonas Nielsen



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freestyle_jones ID #183090
BRUGER skrev:
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.


24/11-2005, 19:47

Kari Gunnarsso



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qeySuS ID #183091
Hold da kæft jeg grinede mange gange


---
&quot;I´m in a glasscage of emotion!&quot; -Ron Burgundy
24/11-2005, 19:59

Nicolas



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PimpDaddy ID #183096
YES ...

Chuck rules

Det er en af de sjoveste tråde i lang tid. God stil Ryberg


---
Lets rock!
24/11-2005, 20:05

OJ



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Ingen p.t.


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ozak ID #183099
Old one, men ikke mindre morsom af den grund
24/11-2005, 23:25

Anders Deleo

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Deleo ID #183128
HAHAHAHAHA

Det er lige Dolph stilen, heh

n1


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The rubber gloves on Brad Pitt in the sex scene in &quot;fight club&quot; was his own idea.
25/11-2005, 1:13

Mikkel

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k0rgx ID #183147
Hahaha jeg ka især godt li at han griner så højt at alle i 100 miles radius blir døve


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There is no spoon.
25/11-2005, 9:34



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Michael Bender ID #183172
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

25/11-2005, 11:51

Morten



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Zee ID #183197
Balkan skrev:
Var ved at spytte saftevand ud over skærmen adskillige gange genialt


Jeg tror bestemt ikke Chuck Norris ville drikke saftevand!!!
Tænk dig lige om inden du indtager en væske næste gang...
WWCND!!! (What Would Chuck Norris Do?)


---
Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.
25/11-2005, 23:44

Gammel profil,...

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leviathan ID #183299
ZEE skrev:
WWCND!!! (What Would Chuck Norris Do?)


Quoted for the truth!
26/11-2005, 16:27

FORMAND LMAO

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spooky ID #183340
Chuck Norris Fact Generator skrev:
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a helpless baby in the head, but unfortunatly it magically backfired, nearly killing him. Years later, a woman named J.K. Rowling heard of this story and turned it into the sucessful Harry Potter series. Last week, Chuck Norris shot her in the vagina and ate her children. He also found that baby, and threw it off a cliff.




http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php


---
Shit Spooky,det var fanme den sygeste side jeg endnu har set på nettet,og det siger ikke så lidt skulle jeg hilse og sige - Bürarüm |----| Hvem står bag definitionen og har de taget højde for alle muligheder og veganer maden? - Kærgaard
27/11-2005, 16:46

Daniel K. K.



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Daniel K K ID #183432


Totalt grineren citater!


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Hvem er General Faliure og hvorfor læser han min harddisk?
29/11-2005, 16:28

Jens Henrik Sk...

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Blomkaal ID #183859
Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big cock theory of space-time".
29/11-2005, 16:39

Nico

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nico ID #183862
BRUGER skrev:
Chuck Norris wears glasses that make everyone look Asian. This is why he kicks so many people in the face.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the blackness out of Michael Jackson. The obsession with young boys came later, as a side effect.
29/11-2005, 16:51

Nico

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nico ID #183867
BRUGER skrev:
If you don't know who your father is, he's probably Chuck Norris.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
29/11-2005, 17:00

Nico

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nico ID #183871
BRUGER skrev:
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

The "Mythbusters" once tested to see if Chuck Norris' beard was actaully indestructable. The only thing busted that day were the mythbuster's heads after repeated roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris is the wife of the late head of state and commander in chief of the armed forces of the federal republic of Nigeria who died on the 8th of June 1998, and needs your help to transfer $80 000 000 USD using your bank account.

If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and no one is anywhere around, rest assured that Chuck Norris heard it.

30/11-2005, 9:22

Mikkel

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k0rgx ID #184048
Lol Nikolaj, de er fandme gode

[quote]A reporter once asked Chuck Norris what his only weakness was. Chuck Norris replied: "Sometimes i love too much.". Then he ripped the reporters spine out and beat him to death with it.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has never found Waldo, but vows to kick his ass when he does.[/quote]


---
There is no spoon.
30/11-2005, 18:42

wim

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WFM ID #184147
Humer, det er bare max. grineren


---
Det er ikke værd at gøre, hvis det ikke er hårdt.
30/11-2005, 18:54



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Svendsen ID #184154

Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.

Chuck Norris has killed more men than death.

Chuck Norris once defeated Andre Agassi in the finals at Wimbelton using only his beard

The name Chuck Norris translates to perfection in twenty different languages.

The movie "Jaws" is actually based on a true story. But instead of an oxygen tank in the shark's mouth, it was Chuck Norris. He got bored after awhile and caused the shark to explode by slightly flexing his left bicep
30/11-2005, 20:28

Master Pimp An...



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kærgaard ID #184170


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Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
30/11-2005, 20:35

Master Pimp An...



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kærgaard ID #184172


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Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
30/11-2005, 22:02

Tønner



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Tønner ID #184194
chuck skrev:

In 1989, Phil Collins challenged Chuck Norris to a drinking contest. Collins passed out after the 6th shot of moonshine. Chuck Norris went on to drink 12 more shots and a pint of antifreeze just to prove Collins a pussy. This, of course, led to the fall of the Berlin Wall later that year.


When Chuck Norris has a bad day, people die. When Chuck Norris has a good day... twice as many people die and a few things explode.

Chuck Norris invented atheism merely to spite God.

Chuck Norris created God. Then he beat the shit out of him for the hell of it.




---
En Kriger kæmper for noget han tror på, en soldat kæmper for noget andre tror på
2/12-2005, 13:25

Esben Kiel Sør...

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Ev ID #184565
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

THX, Chuck!


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Mental note: DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS!!!
3/12-2005, 14:12

Thomas



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Tas ID #184764
During the time of Chuck Norris B.B. (Before Beard), Bruce Lee was Chuck Norris' sensei. One morning Chuck Norris woke up having grown a full beard during the night. He then killed Bruce Lee.

When he is alone at night, Chuck Norris likes to wear slippers with bunnies on them. Real bunnies.

Chuck Norris can bench-press the moon.

Princess Diana did not die in a car crash. She in fact saw Chuck Norris' penis and exploded in awe.


---
You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is never to try. -Homer Simpson
3/12-2005, 17:03

Derry N. Ambo



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Derry ID #184791
Occasionally, Chuck Norris chooses to not wear any pants. On these special days, all women mensturate in hopes of having his baby. Because he's such a nice guy, Chuck Norris gladly accepts the invitations of all the willing vaginas by coating the entire planet with a rain of semen. Although the cleanup takes awhile, nobody cares, as the remainder of semen magically turns into chocolate for everyone to eat


---
&quot;Don&#39;t let your will roar when your power only whispers.&quot; -Thomas Fuller
3/12-2005, 19:59

Mads T



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zygondk ID #184820
When god said "let there be light" CHuck Norris said: "say please"


---
DRØM ikke livet væk - LEV din drøm
4/12-2005, 20:35

Jan Rasmussen



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Egen succes er god, men andres fiasko er nu heller ikke at foragte
12/12-2005, 15:40

Nico

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nico ID #186650
Prince initially called "When Doves Cry" "When Chuck Cries." After several Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the sternum, he changed not only the title of the song, but his name as well.

When a fire department couldn't put out a house that was on fire, Chuck Norris happened to walk by and promptly whipped out his monstrous penis to extinguish the flames with his urine. He then made love to every fireman's wife and college daughters.

Most people don't know that Chuck Norris owns Columbia and Vietnam. After having seen all three Missing in Action and Delta Force movies, these countries decided it was best to surrender themselves to him.

Chuck Norris' sidekick on Walker Texas Ranger isn't black, he's bruised.

In the movie "Anaconda", the part of the snake was played by Chuck Norris' penis. If you look close, you can see him in a couple of scenes, smiling.

Chuck Norris hates midgets and is developing a special lower version of his roundhouse kick just for them
12/12-2005, 15:41

Nico

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nico ID #186651
As well as being an actor, martial artist, and poet, Chuck Norris is also a world renowned physicist. It was in this capacity that he once had a disagreement about steady-state theory with Stephen Hawking. Hence the Wheelchair.
12/12-2005, 15:42

Nico

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nico ID #186652
After reading the Letters to the Editor in his local newspaper, Chuck Norris became enraged at the fact that Richard Dean Anderson was considered sexier by women in the coveted 65+ demographic. To increase his sex appeal to older women, Chuck Norris tried to build a Missle Defense System out of a tube of chapstick, six rubber bands, a spork from KFC and a copy of "Sports" by Huey Lewis and the News. Although Chuck failed at building a the Missle Defense System, he did use this as the prototpy for the Total Body Gym Workout Machine.
12/12-2005, 15:47

Nico

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nico ID #186654
Jimi Hendrix once challenged Chuck Norris to a guitar playing contest. When Chuck lost, he round house kicked Hendrix so hard that he died of a drug overdose.

In 1995, Chuck Norris went on a vision quest at the behest of the chief of his Indian tribe. Upon entering the woods, he encountered a Dodo bird. He promptly kicked the Dodo in the face so hard it killed every one of the Dodo's ancestors. This is why the Dodo has been extinct since 1681.

Walker Texas Ranger is just a normal man, but when danger calls he transforms into Chuck Norris.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
12/12-2005, 15:53

Nico

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nico ID #186655
Chuck Norris, a priest, and a rabbi walked into a bar. They both got their asses roundhouse kicked.

CNN was originally the "Chuck Norris Network" but was later changed to a news station because the awesomeness of a Chuck Norris network kept blowing up satellites, TVs, and viewers' eyeballs.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

After completing the act of love with Chuck Norris, many women find justice running down their inner thigh.

Chuck Norris constructed his own iPod by staring intensely at 10,000 country-western bands until they fearfully compacted themselves into a 2x4x1/2 inch white rectangle.
12/12-2005, 16:00



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Ninja Nina ID #186658
12/12-2005, 16:03

Nico

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nico ID #186659
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris does not live life on the edge; life lives on the edge of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sees dead people. He is the one who killed them.

Bowling is actually a sport derived from when Chuck accidentally roundhouse kicked himself in the testicles and one broke free. In a fit of rage he threw it at a nearby forest creating our modern logging industry as well.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Bruce Lee never died while filming "Game of Death" with Chuck Norris. The true cause of his disappearance is that Bruce Lee asked Chuck Norris to teach him how to perform a roundhouse kick. Being good friends, Chuck Norris promised to teach him, but only after Bruce Lee embarked on an epic journey of the spirit, that is still taking place entirely within Chuck Norris' beard.
18/12-2005, 14:59

Daniel K. K.



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Daniel K K ID #187814
Chuck Norris once hurled his body in the way of an 18 wheeler to save a baby, coincedently while performing his NFL style victory dance he spiked the baby into the ground and performed a perfect moonwalk.

Chuck Norris mother tried to abort him during her pregnacy. He responded by giving birth to himself and roundhouse kicking the doctor to death.

November 22nd, 1963: Chuck Norris was driving through Texas when a lone assassin sitting on a grassy gnoll inside a book suppository shot him in the face. After recovering from the face shot, Chuck Norris found the guy who did it and killed him with a roundhouse kick. This is why the death penalty is so strictly enforced in Texas today.

Scientology is Chuck Norris' first sucessful get-rich-quick scheme.

Chuck Norris once ate all the potatoes in Ireland, causing the potato famine.

Chuck Norris once held an anti-government protest in Washington. At the news, the government was so terrified that it disbanded immediately and declared Chuck the new President. Though pleased, Chuck's only intent had been to lure in dirty hippies to kick their asses.

Two weeks before Christmas, Chuck Norris took his family out to a Christmas tree farm. When they all found the "perfect tree", his son gave him a saw. Chuck laughed, threw the saw down and roundhouse kicked the tree over.

76% of all suicides are committed when someone finds out that they are not Chuck Norris.

Each individual hair in Chuck Norris' beard, has a beard of it's own.

The wind generated by the speed of one Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is enough to blow the clothes off of 37 women.

Artificial insemination was invented when, during an intense and vigorous masturbation session, Chuck Norris' high velocity ejaculate penetrated a woman's vagina from a quarter of a mile away.

The world was flat until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it, which made it curl up into a ball. Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks tend to do that.

Andacondas can grow up to over 30 feet long, and dislocate their jaws so they can open thier mouths exeptionaly wide. But they still cant deep throat Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris shot 2pac and Biggie, but the police were too afraid to actually arrest him in fear of being roundhouse kicked and sodomized.

Chuck Norris invented fire, by roundhouse kicking two people togther at an incredably fast rate.

Chuck Norris is illegal in 48 states.

The Civil War was stopped by Chuck Norris. Thats why so many people died.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Antibodies are not the cure for polio, doctors actually inject paients with Chuck Norris' sperm to roundhouse kick the disease.

To save money in special effects costs in his latest film, director Peter Jackson cast Chuck Norris as King Kong. To prepare for the role, he did not shave for three days, and ate an entire college basketball team.

Chuck Noris fought the law.
Chuck Noris won.

When Chuck Norris was born, he karate chopped his own umbelical cord and built his own milk factory then drank it dry. He then started to learn how to speak in 2.54 seconds and proceeded to dazzle the room with a mixture of impressive karate and dazzling smiles.

Every morning Chuck starts his day off by roundhouse kicking 14 small children. Why 14? 14 is not only Chuck's favorite number, but it is also the number of times Chuck has had sex with your mother.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire live crocodile, then punched Steve Irwin in the face for being such a pussy.


---
Hvem er General Faliure og hvorfor læser han min harddisk?
18/12-2005, 23:26



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Nisse ID #187913
Kan slet ikke stoppe med at grine
19/12-2005, 19:49

Johannes

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Josh ID #188234
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.


If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.


---
This is how we roll: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FK_CKtYCRIc
19/12-2005, 20:54

Master Pimp An...



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kærgaard ID #188251


---
Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
19/12-2005, 21:08





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David ID #188255
19/12-2005, 22:23

Morten Sværke ...



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Sværke ID #188264


---
With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. -Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
20/12-2005, 23:46



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Czharina ID #188549
Chuck Norris' kone vasker ikke op - det gør han selv.

Chuck Norris går ikke ture i skoven - skoven går tur i ham.

Når Chuck Norris plukker svampe, finder han de aller fineste og sarte fordi hans påvirkelige sind ikke kan klare synet af en stor, stinkende fluezvamp.

Når Chuck Norris spiller dark, skyder han altid ved siden af. For dermed at ramme ham med hatten ved siden af.

Chuck Norris snubler ofte over sine egne ben.

Chuck Norris' hund er en chihuahua.

Spiller Chuck Norris skak, bliver han nødt til at have sin bærbare stående ved siden af, så han kan slå trækkende op, fordi han ikke kan huske teorien.

Chuck Norris elsker candy floss.

Og vingummier.

Og fløde..... raaaarrrrr

21/12-2005, 0:17

Thomas



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Mokujin ID #188558
Ang. Carinas indlæg: Man burde i dette forum have mulighed for at udelukke kvinder fra at deltage i visse debatter...
Så hvis de prøvede at poste et svar skulle der komme en meddelelse: "desværre du er en kvinde - denne tråd er kun for mænd".


Carina: Går det ellers godt med din træning? Hvad med BJJ?

21/12-2005, 0:18





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David ID #188559
Moku:

21/12-2005, 0:22



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Czharina ID #188561
Mokujin, hvis du vil chatte privat, så send mig en zmz, så finder vi ud af noget *gentagne eyebrow løft op og ned*

Ellers kan jeg kun sige:

Chuck Norris var ikke en smed - det var hans svigermor derimod!!
21/12-2005, 9:12

FORMAND LMAO

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spooky ID #188604
Chuck Norris kunne tæve Carina med sit skæg alene...og agter at gøre det!




---
Shit Spooky,det var fanme den sygeste side jeg endnu har set på nettet,og det siger ikke så lidt skulle jeg hilse og sige - Bürarüm |----| Hvem står bag definitionen og har de taget højde for alle muligheder og veganer maden? - Kærgaard
21/12-2005, 11:54



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Czharina ID #188625
Chuck Norris' skæg er faldet af fordi han ikke spiste nok jernpiller.

Chuck Norris går ofte alene i biografen fordi han ikke har råd til en date.

Chuck Norris ynglingsbeskæftigelse er afstøvning med en årgang 1984 støvekost. *mmm, kvalitet*

Chuck Norris håber ofte på at kunne flyve et rumskib - desværre er det eneste han kommer til at flyve, et propelfly. Der er placeret på hans hat. Der i virkeligheden er en "bøllehue".

Chuck Norris spiser ofte svampe, men kun dem som er grønne, fordi han går aktivt ind for Økologi og er medlem af Enhedslisten.

Chuck Norris har mange penge, men kun i matador.

Og kun fordi han spiller mod sin lillesøster på 7 år. Selv lyver Chuck Norris om sin alder.

Chuck Norris .. omg, nu ringer folk ind, så må jeg hellere tage telefonen.
21/12-2005, 13:09

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #188645
Farina skrev:
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA


Løgn og atter løgn. Det er hvad der kommer ud af din beskidte GAINER -skakt....

Hvis dine løgne her i denne tråd ikke havde været så let gennemskuelige, ville jeg måske reagere kraftigt. Men alle kan se lige igennem dine løgne.

Du er ikke andet end en indebrændt lige pige, som ikke længere får nok ud af at rive vingerne af små insekter og derfor prøver at komme få lidt kontakt til de voksne.

"LA LA LA LA LA LA" ....der er ingen der lytter i dåsen for enden af ledningen.

Typisk kvinder,

Kan og vil aldrig kunne forstå sandheden.
21/12-2005, 13:15

Dahl



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sandman ID #188647
Carina-the-betrayer skrev:
det eneste han kommer til at flyve, et propelfly

sammenligner du Chuck Norris med "Karlsson på taget"..?





---
...this is your life and it&#39;s ending one minute at a time
21/12-2005, 14:07



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Czharina ID #188667
BRUGER skrev:
Carina-the-betrayer


Hey, what can I say, det er længst fastslået at jeg er en forædder. Troløst, helt ned i mit kolde hjerte!

@ Ryberg - nu lyder du jo som en gammel kending; lad mig fremmane, genkreere og justere de smukke ord fra din åndelige slægtning, som de blev ytret i sin tid (nu med en smule kunztnerisk makeup fra min side):

Smede skrev, dvs kunne lige så godt have skrevet, - skrev:
Søde Carina J

Hvor er du dog pinlig at høre på.
Hvad har du bidraget med til Chuck Norris' omdømme ?? ikke noget som helst, andet end pinligheder.
Folk som Chuck Norris har været aktiv i opbygningen af verden, ved at lave roundhouse kicks, spise cigaretter osv.
Dig , du tror at dine syge meninger og holdninger er lige så meget vær som eks. Chuck Norris. Men dine har absolut INGEN BETYDNING.
Du er en indebrændt lille pige. Alt du burde gøre er at rive vingerne af fluerne. Endvidere må du gerne fri os fra dine respektløse meninger. DU GIVER MIG KVALME.
Jeg håber at dine voksne vil give sig tid til at fortælle dig lidt om hvordan man skal opføre sig.
Chuck Norris er en kanon god og velfungerende mand. Og det er vel og mærke IKKE takke være dig. Det i den grad pinligt at se små piger som dig gemme sig bag sit køn og sin syge opfattelse af ”frihed til at sige som man vil” holdning. Og tale respektløst over for vokzne som aktivt har bidraget til at bygget denne kanone mands ry for roundhouse kickz ,,, ja hvad skal jeg sige,,, ”JEG GÅR LIGE UD OG KASTER OP”
Du er ingenting, andet end en lille pige som tror at hun har meninger af betydning.
Hvadmed at du tager op og får fornyet dit buskort. Og herefter får en snak men en voksen om de frustrationer du bærer inden i. Det ville glæde os alle.

Det var alt fra symbiose-manden.




Smukt.

Men of the world, unite!

I er een som alle og alle som een.

.

Bortset fra Chuck Norris, han overvejer at blive en tailansk lady-boy for Bubber og Bimmer.
21/12-2005, 15:14

Nico

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nico ID #188684
Geni skrev:
Søde Carina J

Hvor er du dog pinlig at høre på.
Hvad har du bidraget med til Chuck Norris' omdømme ?? ikke noget som helst, andet end pinligheder.
Folk som Chuck Norris har været aktiv i opbygningen af verden, ved at lave roundhouse kicks, spise cigaretter osv.
Dig , du tror at dine syge meninger og holdninger er lige så meget vær som eks. Chuck Norris. Men dine har absolut INGEN BETYDNING.
Du er en indebrændt lille pige. Alt du burde gøre er at rive vingerne af fluerne. Endvidere må du gerne fri os fra dine respektløse meninger. DU GIVER MIG KVALME.
Jeg håber at dine voksne vil give sig tid til at fortælle dig lidt om hvordan man skal opføre sig.
Chuck Norris er en kanon god og velfungerende mand. Og det er vel og mærke IKKE takke være dig. Det i den grad pinligt at se små piger som dig gemme sig bag sit køn og sin syge opfattelse af ”frihed til at sige som man vil” holdning. Og tale respektløst over for vokzne som aktivt har bidraget til at bygget denne kanone mands ry for roundhouse kickz ,,, ja hvad skal jeg sige,,, ”JEG GÅR LIGE UD OG KASTER OP”
Du er ingenting, andet end en lille pige som tror at hun har meninger af betydning.
Hvadmed at du tager op og får fornyet dit buskort. Og herefter får en snak men en voksen om de frustrationer du bærer inden i. Det ville glæde os alle.

Det var alt fra symbiose-manden.


Smukt, værdigt, velskrevet og intet andet end sandheden!
21/12-2005, 15:19

Nico

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nico ID #188689
Presi skrev:
Du er ikke andet end en indebrændt lige pige, som ikke længere får nok ud af at rive vingerne af små insekter og derfor prøver at komme få lidt kontakt til de voksne.

Hehe det er sgu hårdt sagt af en mand der selv i den grad ligner et ikke-flyvende-insekt.
21/12-2005, 15:29

Master Pimp An...



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kærgaard ID #188690
Svendsen - få styr på din dame!!!





---
Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
21/12-2005, 15:50

Morten Sværke ...



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Sværke ID #188699
Ballerina skrev:
Usandheder og løgne, gudsbespottende og samfundsnedbrydende uhyrligheder.


wikipedia.org skrev:
In Internet terminology, a troll is a person who posts inflammatory messages on the internet, such as on online discussion forums, to disrupt discussion or to upset its participants. "Troll" can also mean the inflammatory message itself posted by a troll or be a verb meaning to post such messages. "Trolling" (the gerund) is also commonly used to describe the activity.


Kærgaard skrev:

Svendsen - få styr på din dame!!!

ENIG! Det er TYDELIGT at der ikke er blevet tævet den mindste smule af intelligens (læs: lydighed) ind i det afsporede individ, ballerina tydeligvis er. DET ER PÅ TIDE, VI SIGER FRA...


---
With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. -Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
21/12-2005, 15:50



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Svendsen ID #188700
Lige efter at Chuck Norris løb tør for kvinder kastede han sig over kærgaard.

Chuck Norris er kun træt af Kærgaard og folk der ikke gør rent efter sig.

... (åmg har ikke tid til flere)...
21/12-2005, 15:57

Master Pimp An...



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kærgaard ID #188710
Bwahahaha!! Så de få krampetrækninger var alt du kunne præstere - intet under at Carina tror det er a'okay at svine Chuck Norris...tsk tsk tsk






---
Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
21/12-2005, 16:02

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #188712
Det her er forrykt !

Webbie.... Her er brug for din opmærksomhed.
21/12-2005, 16:16

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #188717
*host hak*

Må jeg gøre opmærksom på følgende:

Navn: Carina Jørgensen

Sidst online: 21/12-2005, 14:43
Online tid: 1 dage, 0 timer og 39 minutter
Email: Carina2b@hotmail.com
Website: http://www.csacph.dk/
Messenger: Carina2b@hotmail.com
Telefon: 25631061
Klub: CSA.- CPH
By: 2730 Herlev
Stilart: MMA
Alder: 18 år
Højde: 173 cm
Vægt: 71 kg


Ikke at præsidenten på nogen måde opfordrer til at SMS hetze det åbenlyst forvirrede pigebarn ! Men blot til information
21/12-2005, 16:43



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Svendsen ID #188722
Okay det sidste indlæg fra Morten vr faktisk rimelig lavt
21/12-2005, 17:02

Master Pimp An...



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kærgaard ID #188723


---
Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
21/12-2005, 17:03

Kim Hovgaard



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HARDCORE ID #188724
Chuck Norris was born Charles Edwin Norris III. Despite being mere minutes old, he grabbed his birth certificate and roundhouse-kicked it up his father's ass because, as he said, 'I will never get any pussy with the name Charles. From now on, call me Chuck... because it rhymes with fuck.'
21/12-2005, 17:07



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Czharina ID #188726
Min mobil er så hårdcore at den bider hovederne af enhver incoming sms, der kommer fra en uregistreret fan.

Desværre, boyz, for at melde jer ind i mit harem, bliver man desværre nødt til at henvende sig persoligt, samt understrege at man behersker de 2 førpostede kriterier:

1) Mavedans

2) Total submission




Carina says:
chuck norris.... chuck norris......
Carina says:
chuck norris gav til panda-fonden men desværre ville de ikke tage imod det fordi det var hans hus

Carina says:
chuck norris gik en tur i skoven men så faldt han ned i et hul
Carina says:
og han kom aldrig op
Carina says:
fordi der nederst ende lå en fatboy chair
Carina says:
OMG


I'm so g000od.
21/12-2005, 17:17





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Kotaro ID #188732
your so hot...
21/12-2005, 21:34

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #188797
.....er det bare mig eller virker Carina langt mere Chuck Norris end Lasse ?

Med risiko for at Lasse poienterer at jeg er under bæltestedet, og her refereres ikke til mine 173 cm (official height of Lars Besand), er der vist ikke tvivl om hvem der har buskerne hos hjemme hos dem.
21/12-2005, 21:54



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Czharina ID #188802
Det er vigtigt at pointere at i et hvert forhold der højner sig over harem-stadie (ikke at der er noget i vejen med de kære drenge, gudbevarmigvel, nej), eksisterer bukzer slet ikke.


WE WERE ALL NAKED (in ze beginning of zime) AND nekkid we shall be forever more!

Bukser er en illusion.

Free your asses!

Og lad mig citere mr. Honningblomst:

Hr. Honningblomst skrev:
in the full glare of publicity, I strip


What a friggin' poet.
21/12-2005, 22:43

Nicolas



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PimpDaddy ID #188812
CARINA.....! Har jeg ikke sagt til dig, at som min ho må du IKKE komme med nedsættende udtalelser om Chuck Norris, eller date Lasse Svendsen...

EOD



---
Lets rock!
21/12-2005, 22:55



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Czharina ID #188818
Oh, Master Peemp, you do cease to amaze me with your lies.

Pimpette, pimpdetty - pimpDIDDY!!

I belong to no one
21/12-2005, 23:38

Nicolas



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PimpDaddy ID #188824
Don't let me raise my pimpslap-hand...

What did the 5 fingers say to the face, Carina??


---
Lets rock!
21/12-2005, 23:50



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Svendsen ID #188830
Mon ikke fingere fungere som et stor selv-mærkat hvorpå der stod p-w-n-e-d?
21/12-2005, 23:51



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Svendsen ID #188831
22/12-2005, 9:40



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Czharina ID #188889
@ p. diddy - I wouldn't know, methinks it's only in ye dreams ye have any kind of powah.

Ellers er Svendsens forslag vist et ret godt bud.


Pwned! ! !
22/12-2005, 16:27

Nicolas



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www.rumblespor...


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(3000+ indlæg)


PimpDaddy ID #189005
PIMPDaddy skrev:
What did the 5 fingers say to the face, Carina??


SLAP...!!!1

I'm PimpDaddy bitch.. Lower yourself


Men siden du ikke kan lære det, er det måske det rette tidspunkt at uploade pinlige video af dig??

pwn3d!!!!11


---
Lets rock!
22/12-2005, 16:37

Nicolas



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PimpDaddy ID #189008


---
Lets rock!
22/12-2005, 19:10



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Czharina ID #189036
You do whatever you will do and I will post a picture of your naked ass.

And it's NOT a c00l azz pic like Svendzens!

Total dårlig kunztner reference *thumb down*
22/12-2005, 21:16

Nicolas



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PimpDaddy ID #189055
Bring it on

Du er min HO så det går ud over dig i sidste ende


---
Lets rock!
22/12-2005, 21:17

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189056
Carina, Lasse og PeempD, take your business elsewhere.... !

I håner den skæggede ved at bringe jeres hyleri til denne storslåede tråd.

Do or Die (by roundhouse kicks)

Att: webbie,

Må jeg foreslå at denne tråd renses for alt andet end sandheden !
23/12-2005, 1:43

Steffen Ravn M...



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Steff ID #189085
Chuck Norris read this thread and roundhouse kicked Webbie into next week, because the lies that Carina, Lasse and PimpD posted wasn't deleted right away...


---
Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn&#39;t try it on as a hat! (Husk pas, hvis I skal i byen i Vejle!) Drevet af mit had til Balkanal...
23/12-2005, 9:47

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189103
Preferred by more black belts and martial artists than any other glove!

23/12-2005, 9:50

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189104
Jeg vidste det !

Nico er i virkeligheden ham der er inden i Lester Griffin. Senere kendt som Tank Abbot.

23/12-2005, 9:52

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189106
DA MAN !



23/12-2005, 9:57

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189107
THE REAL RAT PACK !






23/12-2005, 9:59

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189108
FUCK Action Man og lign.

Der findes kun 1 action figur:




23/12-2005, 10:05

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189109
Her ses tydeligt, effekten af et Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick:


23/12-2005, 10:11

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189110
Her er en reklame for en amerikansk plastikkirug der virkelig har fat i den lange ende:



23/12-2005, 10:14

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189111
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.
23/12-2005, 10:15

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189112
The only child ever to survive a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris was Gary Colman. He has not grown since.
23/12-2005, 10:16

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189113
Chuck Norris does not flex at 100%, if he did, his muscle mass would become so dense it would create it's own gravitational field similar to that of a black hole... Killing all living things in the universe, except himself.
23/12-2005, 10:26

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189114
Chuck Norris knows what Meatloaf wouldn't do for love.
23/12-2005, 10:27

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189115
Chuck Norris has slept with every woman in the world just to be absolutely sure that he has fucked your wife.
23/12-2005, 10:28

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189117
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
23/12-2005, 11:07

Master Pimp An...



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kærgaard ID #189124
nice pressi!!!


---
Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
23/12-2005, 13:41





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Bayoke ID #189148
Word!



---
STØT TEAM EASY ON - STØT TEAM EASY ON - STØT TEAM EASY ON EASY ON - STØT TEAM EASY ON - STØT TEAM EASY ON EASY ON - STØT TEAM EASY ON - STØT TEAM EASY ON EASY ON - STØT TEAM EASY ON - EASY ON - STØT TEAM EASY ON - STØT TEAM EASY ON
23/12-2005, 20:27

Thomas la Cour



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la Cour ID #189191


---
www.hoernelloglacour.dk
25/12-2005, 16:43

Thomas



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Tas ID #189414
Jeg fnadt lige denne her flash:
http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/285267

THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN (starring Chuk Norris)


---
You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is never to try. -Homer Simpson
25/12-2005, 17:02

Master Pimp An...



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kærgaard ID #189415
Goddammit han er for hardcore!!


---
Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
26/12-2005, 11:19



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Czharina ID #189508

En dødssynd er blevet committed.






Ma.dk - nu som Jyllands Postens værste fjende! Fornuftens stemme bringer billede af "profeten" - straks skriger den Rabiate stor-muslim til protest og svinger censur-dolken!!

*skuffet over at hjernevasken skulle gå så nemt...*
26/12-2005, 11:33

Patrick

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2F ID #189510
Hmm... hvad blev der af Carinas ellers udemærkede tur ud i det abstrakte.

Synes da ikke hun har generet eller nedgjort en person, stil osv. ???

Men til dig Carina, tak for en yderst underholdende monolog !
Du er sq for viderekommende og sparkede totalt numZ !!!



/Patrick *der stadig griner over hele flæskefjæset*


---
Is your name Tang Lung...???
26/12-2005, 11:52

Dennis H



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Dennis H ID #189512
2f - det var fordi hun til sidst postede rimeligt udfordrende nøgenbilleder fra webcam af sig selv


---
Som havet kun har én smag, smagen af salt, har min lære kun én smag, smagen af frihed.- Buddha Shakyamuni
26/12-2005, 11:56



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Czharina ID #189515
26/12-2005, 12:07

Patrick

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2F ID #189519




---
Is your name Tang Lung...???
26/12-2005, 14:39

Thomas



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Mokujin ID #189537
Hvorfor er alle Carinas indlæg blevet slettet?????

26/12-2005, 20:03

Nicolai Thyges



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Nicolai Thygesen ID #189586
Baggrundsbilleder med Chuck stjålet fra off topic lagt ind af Yssing.

Personligt har jeg valgt det, hvor Dai sifu Chuck står i bar overkrop, med hvide tennissokker og en vægtstang.


---
Shootfighting - Bart Vale/Otto Knudsen linage
27/12-2005, 0:04

Thomas



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Mokujin ID #189640


27/12-2005, 0:12

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189645
I guder...

Her føder man pøblen med sandheden.

.....og så tuder I fordi nogen har fjernet Carina´ "jeg vil også være med selvom jeg er en pige" -indlæg fra en tråd om Chuck Norris !

Jeg vil anbefale de få som savner Carina´ udskejelser, at starte en tråd hvor hun kan ramble frit. Så kan vi holde tråde om Chuck Norris og flere andre RIGTIGE mænd rene.

HELT RENE !


Til dem der måtte få ondt i røven over tonen (ingen nævnt INGEN GLEMT):

DETTE ER EN TRÅD OM CHUCK NORRIS. Tænk jer om.
27/12-2005, 0:19

Martin Hansen

Antal indlæg: 13
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WOUND ID #189650
27/12-2005, 0:21





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David ID #189652
@ WOUND!

27/12-2005, 0:34

Thomas



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Mokujin ID #189658

Ej helt seriøst - jeg er totalt nysgerrig over hvorfor de er blevet slettet??
Indlæg bliver normalt kun slettet hvis de er stødende og der er da ikke nogen af os normale forumbrugere der kan slette indlæg...

Oplys mig venligst.



27/12-2005, 1:27

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189678
THOMAS,

Hvad er det i følgende du ikke forstår:

El Presidente skrev:
DETTE ER EN TRÅD OM CHUCK NORRIS. Tænk jer om.
27/12-2005, 1:30

Thomas



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Mokujin ID #189680
Morten:
Jeg forstår ikke hvorfor den første linje er skrevet med stort og den sidste linje ikke er.


27/12-2005, 1:41

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189687
Du er uden for rækkevide min ven.

Her er et link til en tråd hvor du burde kunne følge med: http://www.martialarts.dk/vis_emne.asp?id=11263&mode=offtopic
27/12-2005, 2:11

Thomas



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Mokujin ID #189690
El Prebsi:
Du må ikke give op nu..
Jeg vil bare gerne være ligeså sej som chuck NORRIS!!


28/12-2005, 0:04

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189886
CHUCK norris, når det er dig
28/12-2005, 14:27



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Czharina ID #189964
Jeres tråd er DØD uden mine oplysende visdomskorn! /hoven
28/12-2005, 14:48

Thomas



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Tas ID #189971
Chuck Norris' beard is actually made of Velcro. He uses it to trap low flying bats.

Chuck Norris supports abortion. It is still unknown whether it is his attraction to killing babies or his desire to control his child support payments that fuels his support.

Chuck Norris was sent to the principal's office in fourth grade for roundhouse kicking his teacher to death... while bench pressing 5,000 lbs. and making fun of the foreign kid.


---
You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is never to try. -Homer Simpson
28/12-2005, 14:49

Steffen Ravn M...



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Steff ID #189972
Crop circles are not made by aliens. They are made by CHUCK NORRIS, when he decides to do his roundhouse kicks outdoors.

Some crop circles he makes with his roundhouse kick. But sometimes CHUCK NORRIS just reminds the crops that they need to lay the fuck down.


---
Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn&#39;t try it on as a hat! (Husk pas, hvis I skal i byen i Vejle!) Drevet af mit had til Balkanal...
28/12-2005, 15:02

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189975
Steffen skrev:
Crop circles are not made by aliens. They are made by CHUCK NORRIS, when he decides to do his roundhouse kicks outdoors.

Some crop circles he makes with his roundhouse kick. But sometimes CHUCK NORRIS just reminds the crops that they need to lay the fuck down.


BWAhahahahahahahaha
28/12-2005, 15:03

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189976
The only thing hairier than Chuck Norris's beard are his balls.
28/12-2005, 15:03

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189977
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
28/12-2005, 15:05

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189978
In Jurassic Park, the water shaking in the glass was from Chuck Norris masturbating halfway around the world. The dinosaur was purely coincidence.
28/12-2005, 15:06

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189979
Chuck Norris once punched a drug dealer so hard, that he ripped a hole in the fabric of time and space, resulting in Chuck traveling back in time during the Revolutionary War. Chuck Norris then proceeded to singlehandedly beat the Brits during the battles at Lexington and Concord.
28/12-2005, 15:06

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189980
The tsunami that occurred off the coast of Sri Lanka was actually caused by a Chuck Norris cannon ball.
28/12-2005, 15:07

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189981
Chuck Norris's penis is so massive that it has its own elbow. In conclusion, Chuck Norris can use his penis to karate chop midgets and handicapped midgets.
28/12-2005, 15:08

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189982
Chuck Noris' famous slowmo rounndhouse kick isn't actually slow mition at all. Due to his amazing muscle control developed throughdaily kagel excercises, Chuck Noris can litterally squeeze air with his butt muscles, thus suspending him on a jet stream of air. The fact that his opponents and surroundings all seem to be in slow motion as well is merely a mirage formed by the vapour trail.
28/12-2005, 15:09

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189984
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
28/12-2005, 15:09

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189985
When Chuck Norris says jump, you ask for permission to come down.
28/12-2005, 15:11

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189986
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
28/12-2005, 15:11

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189987
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
28/12-2005, 15:12

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189988
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
28/12-2005, 15:12

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189989
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
28/12-2005, 15:13

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189990
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
28/12-2005, 15:13

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189991
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
28/12-2005, 15:14

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189992
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
28/12-2005, 15:14

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189993
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
28/12-2005, 15:14

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189994
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
28/12-2005, 15:15

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189995
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
28/12-2005, 15:15

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189996
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
28/12-2005, 15:16

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189997
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
28/12-2005, 15:16

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189998
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
28/12-2005, 15:16

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #189999
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
28/12-2005, 15:17

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190000
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
28/12-2005, 15:17

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190001
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
28/12-2005, 15:18

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190002
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
28/12-2005, 15:18

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190003
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
28/12-2005, 15:19

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190004
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
28/12-2005, 15:19

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190005
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
28/12-2005, 15:20

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190006
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
28/12-2005, 15:20

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190007
Den her er stadig nummer FUCKING 1:

skrev:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
28/12-2005, 15:23

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190009
28/12-2005, 15:25

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190011
Chuck Norris skrev:
Chuck's "Farewell to Walker" Letter
Dear Friends:

I was lying in bed a couple of months ago and I started reflecting back to my Martial Arts career as a fighter. I remembered back to 1974, when I decided to retire after six years as the undefeated World Middleweight Karate Champion. I thought that I could defend my title again in 1975 at the age of 35 and win my seventh consecutive year, but then again I could probably lose, so I decided to retire as an undefeated champion. To this day I am considered one of the top fighters of all time. If I had fought and lost, that may not have been the case.

Then I began thinking about Walker, Texas Ranger. Fortunately, Walker has been a top rated series for eight years and I thought it could probably have a successful ninth season, but then again maybe not. Anyway that is the reason I am ending Walker, Texas Ranger. I want the series to end as a winner. I know the let down of Walker being over will be very emotionally hard on me, just as it did when I retired as a fighter, but I did not stop doing my Martial Arts when I retired and I will not stop acting when Walker is over. I hope whenever my acting career goes that I will still have your support! As I have always believed, "When one door closes, a bigger one opens."

God Bless you.

Sincerely your friend,

Chuck Norris
28/12-2005, 19:30

Thomas



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Mokujin ID #190033
Chuck Norris helped Jesus through the hard times, giving him strength by quoting the Scripture. (Norris had somehow gotten his hands on an advance copy of the New Testament, but couldn't bring himself to tell Jesus how it all ended.)


28/12-2005, 19:32

Thomas



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Nørrebro


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Mokujin ID #190034
We all know that during World War II, President Roosevelt told United States citizens that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Sadly, most people don't know the rest of that statement: "Fortunately for us, Chuck Norris IS fear itself, and he is on our side, so we have nothing to fear at all."


28/12-2005, 19:33

Thomas



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Nørrebro


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Mokujin ID #190035
Chuck Norris can grant wishes, as long as you wish for roundhouse kicks to the face or a Total Gym.


28/12-2005, 19:42

Thomas



Antal indlæg: 4358
Online 59d 0t 23m
Nørrebro


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Mokujin ID #190036
The Vietnam memorial is not a list of people who died in Vietnam, but actually a list of people who died over a fourth of July holiday when someone drank Chuck Norris' Tequila.


Chuck Norris was originally the fifth Ninja Turtle. After Splinter kicked him out for "not being a mutant", Chuck roundhouse kicked him and the rest of the turtles, thus beginning the Boston Massacre.


Chuck Norris used the majority of the money he made for Missing in Action II to have the inside of his wife's vagina lined with denim.


Chuck Norris shaves everyday. A new beard grows back instantly.


When you pray to god, Chuck Norris listens, Then round house kicks you to the head for believeing in god and not Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris invented crack because he doesn't like black people.


Real men don't have pubic hair. They have cock beards in honor of their leader and idol Chuck Norris.


28/12-2005, 19:45

Thomas



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Nørrebro


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Mokujin ID #190037
Chuck Norris only once missed with his roundhouse kick to the head. As a result the Berlin wall fell.

28/12-2005, 21:02

Dennis H



Antal indlæg: 4347
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WTCenter
Hambenberg.dk


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Dennis H ID #190044
Chuck norris only got one real sensei who are greater than him, Dennis H


---
Som havet kun har én smag, smagen af salt, har min lære kun én smag, smagen af frihed.- Buddha Shakyamuni
28/12-2005, 21:09



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Lilla forumbælte
(1500+ indlæg)


Czharina ID #190046
@ Dennis H
29/12-2005, 10:40

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #190086
Dennis H´ storhedsvanvid har nået nye højder. Han er nu begyndt omtale sig selv i flertal.

Big Boy skrev:
Chuck norris only got one real sensei who are greater than him, Dennis H


29/12-2005, 11:10

Mogens Rye

Antal indlæg: 981
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Frederiksberg J...


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Bankers ID #190087
I thought Chuck Norris was spelled GOD..


Hans menighed ber ikke en bøn..de roundkicker den...




---
At kaste med Roland er tungt...Meget tungt..Men sjovt og ikke så tungt som tidligere...Siger han har tabt 10kg...Phew
17/1-2006, 1:17

Jacob Andersen



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Århus


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rep9210 ID #193957
Chuck Norris doesn't have a dick - he has Richard.

/Jacob


---
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art. - Ogden Nash
19/1-2006, 1:17

Peter L.T.L.



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DelPede ID #194451


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I think we have all been headbutted in the face at sometime in life... - Stuart Pearce
19/1-2006, 15:53

Nick



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Ashihara Karate...
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Nick ID #194567
Hørt i Vest-Berlin, engang i juni 1963:

John F. Kennedy skrev:
Two thousand years ago, the proudest boast was "civis Romanus sum." Today, in the world of freedom, the proudest boast is "Ich bin Chuck Norris."


---
Ej fjærter mus som hest uden røv revner
19/1-2006, 16:07

Peter L.T.L.



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DelPede ID #194569
Nietzsche første bog hed øjensynligt også "Also Spracht Chucken", men det oplag blev revet væk


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I think we have all been headbutted in the face at sometime in life... - Stuart Pearce
26/1-2006, 16:28

Thomas



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Budokan og New ...
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Tas ID #196307


---
You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is never to try. -Homer Simpson
25/3-2006, 22:21

Morten Ryberg



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El Presidente ID #211642
TTT
25/3-2006, 22:24

Master Pimp An...



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gallys.pornsta...


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kærgaard ID #211643


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Det tager typisk 3-4 timer, hvor man er på hele tiden og står i alle mulige akavede stillinger med 2kg i hænderne. - P.diddy // Rigtige mænd går med håndtaske!! - Steffen Kjeldsen
26/3-2006, 19:13

Dr. Evil



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holbæk


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BIG-G ID #211773
alle skal næsten tage at læse denne side der er mange mange flere gode
www.chucknorrisfacts.com



---
I ate a baby!

Super letvægts BJJ gi

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